Last week I wrote a blog about finding my "two things" (read that blog here). This was an idea from the Chip Gaines' book Capital Gaines about determining the big ticket items in your life that were worth focusing on in order to not get burned out and to maximize your effectiveness. I originally decided that my two “things” were:
Family (Marriage & Kids)
Organizing my life (Getting rid of time-wasting activities and being diligent in a few important things)
After my wife read the last blog, her comment was:
Touché. In retrospect, my second "thing" is at best a work in progress. What I really have is a goal to get into a good habit with items in my life so that I can focus on what matters. This goal isn't a bad thing, but it also doesn't really count as a big ticket item to focus my life on. So after that gentle jab from my wife I decided to more clearly define my two "things". My Family is first, but I also have many other hobbies that I would love to focus on. My problem in deciding on my number two was that most of the hobbies won't have a lasting impact (except maybe in a bad way) if I were to put a large amount of time into them.....I'm talking to you golf. With that in mind here is what I decided I wanted to focus my extra time on.
Family (Marriage & Kids)
My Media/Writing
My new number 2 encompasses a number of elements (This Blog, the family VLOGs I do and the church videos I create under the AdoptionMedia name). I originally titled my VLOGs "EverydayAdventures", and I liked that idea so I continued it with this website. Going forward my ultimate purpose for this hobby is to turn it into something that helps me and my family grow and live out our walk with God.
My goal for the rest of this current blog is to practically work out what these two things look like in writing. In doing that I hope to inspire others (and myself) to think about and put together a schedule and goals for their own lives as well! Now before anyone thinks I am just trying to write a self-help article to make my life better (which there really is nothing wrong with anyway) let me jump back to the Bible and give us all a good reason to take a look at adding order and purpose to our lives. Proverbs 13:4 covers this nicely:
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.
That first phrase can (unfortunately) describe me quite well at times. I have “craved” many things in my life without putting in the work to attain them. Sports, jobs, money, a better marriage, a better devotion life…. the list could go on and on. This blog is a small step in trying to correct this issue. On a side note, I think the word "daydreams" could easily be substituted into this verse instead of the word “craves”. I have my own thoughts on daydreams which I will share some other time.
Balancing these two items was a challenge for me. I have a full-time day job, so deciding to focus on another hobby at home meant I had to be selective in what it would entail and where the time to devote to it would come from. To figure out what a week would look like with these two things, I first listed out everything I wanted to get done in a normal week. I say "normal week" because many weeks will have something unique in them, maybe a work trip or vacation or birthday party et cetera, and a normal week is just a typical work week without anything special. Here are the results from brainstorming ideas I would like to accomplish in a week.
Limit facebook/youtube (social media) and focus on the family when I am home
(Thing 1 and 2) Read the Bible each day
(Thing 1) Date night with Anna once a week
(Thing 1) Read the Bible to the kids at night (and act out a story with them for bonus points)
(Thing 1) Make an extra effort to play with each of my kids one on one at some time in the week
(Thing 1 and 2) Read my current monthly book for at least 15 minutes 3-4 times in the evening throughout the week
(Thing 1) Work on the current house project 2-3 times in the week
(Thing 2) Write a Blog and post it
Eat better for 4-5 of the days
Exercise 3-4 times a week
Play one round of golf or go to the driving range
(Thing 2) Work on a VLOG (1 per month)
(Thing 2) Work on the next Church video
Nearly all of these things relate to one or both of my two things, and most of these won't happen without intentionally setting time aside each week to complete them.
Knowing this, I set a weekly quota for some of the items to give me a better chance of getting them done. For example, reading a book. My goal is to read a little bit every day, but for me with the projects and family items that come up every week that's often unrealistic. So I made the goal to read at least 3-4 times each week which gives me days I can miss and still achieve my goal. (Side note, even this seemingly small amount of reading will allow you to get through a book a month rather easily.)
Once I had this all squared away, I went out and bought a cheap whiteboard that I could put up in my office (like this one from Amazon) and I put all these items on it, see the picture below.
The biggest time waster on this list is YouTube. I can easily waste hours watching videos. Everything from sports to tutorials to games and sermons. All time that could be used to play with my kids, complete a house project, read a book, write a blog, work on a church video…. basically, do something productive. The only way for me to avoid this waste is to intentionally put my phone down and forget about it in order to focus on something else. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but if I am on my phone I tend to tune everything else out.
This is also why there is no number for this goal because it's something I should be doing every day, and having it prominent on the list is a good reminder.
As I mentioned in the first blog, having family as my first focus helps shape how everything else on this should look. For example, part of the reason I like doing these blogs is the chance to draw with my kids. I enjoy writing out my thoughts and ideas and eureka moments, and adding doodles and stick figures to them makes them more enjoyable (I hope), but it also provides me with a chance to engage with my kids as well. In doing this it helps me accomplish my first priority (family) while also working a few of the other things on the list (put the phone down and write a blog).... two (or three) birds with one stone.....
I have been working through this list for a few months now and even though it's still a work in progress, it is refreshing to look back on a week and have a way to gauge how the week went in terms of important items actually getting done. Now that I have worked out some of the final details my goal is to really press through and track each week for a few months to be intentional and to get into a good habit with these items.
Do you keep track of your priorities, and if so how do you do it? What about your screen time and your kid's screen time? I read a book this year titled The Tech-Wise Family and it had some great ideas about controlling technology use that I want to try and adapt to fit my family when my kids get to that age. At some point in the future, I will write a blog about this concept including my goals for my kids. That way I can come back in the future and see how realistic they really were.
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