Technology has come a long way in the years since I was a kid. I remember my dad bringing home our first computer (an IBM). It took forever to boot up, you had to type out the commands to make anything work, and all the software came on floppy disks that had to be inserted and loaded into memory. We had a couple games from the shareware store in the mall but in all reality, it was more of a gimmick than anything useful for my siblings and I. How times have changed. Now we have devices that not only combine our TV, computer, telephone, notepad, camera, and radio but do it in a nice neat package that fits in the palm of our hand. While these technological advancements are amazing, as a parent they also bring new challenges to raising kids. The cell phone and the internet have ensured that a blissfully ignorant childhood is no longer an option for our kids. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do everything we can to mitigate this technological impact in order to provide our kids with a safe environment to learn values and morals before they head out into the "real world". Let’s go back 20+ years and look at how growing up in the 1990’s compares to the world our kids are in now. While it is fun to look back at many of these items, as parents they also highlight things we must not ignore. So, here are 11 ways technology has changed the world since we were kids:
If you haven't noticed, there is an all-out assault on moral values. The leading edge of culture in America wants to eradicate any morals it doesn’t agree with. This immediately puts the Bible on the chopping block. To the world, the Bible is simply an outdated book that needs to be passed over so we can move into the 21st century. This is nothing new, but with the ever-increasing reach of technology, the message now permeates farther and farther. Schools are the number one target of this message, because if you can get doubt into the heads of children then your battle becomes much easier as they grow older. This means as parents our first priority needs to be instilling Godly moral character in our child. If we can do that, then most of the other items on this list will fall into place automatically. It’s not enough to allow a green vegetable to sing about Bible stories, we have to be diligent and persistent in combating viewpoints that are engineered to engage and indoctrinate our kids into a way of thinking. Maybe this needs a blog to itself, but I will leave it at that for now.
Technology is often praised for allowing us to get more done. Unfortunately, most of the time this usually means that we simply add more to our schedules and in the end, we are busier than ever. Often times we end up relying on technology even more just to get us through a day. For many parents, this means that free time is a thing of the past. We have something nearly every night of the week, and for those of us with margin, we often feel pressure from all the other busy parents to get involved somewhere else. Often times we justify it by saying “it’s for my kid’s sake”. But the truth is your kid doesn’t need to play soccer, the piano and have swim lessons while attending youth group and Chess club every week. I have seen kids and parents overextend themselves and knowing the personality my wife has, I know this will be a challenge for us. As our kids grow up this is going to be a sticking point for me because I want time every week where as a family we can relax and focus on what matters (without technology interfering) in life instead of dreading the events that are required of us the next day. This also fits into my “two things” idea because putting family first is a priority above the activities my kids participate in.
Comparing ourselves to others has been around since I was a kid (and forever really). The difference again is technology. Technology often serves as the megaphone for what our hearts desire. We have to look no further than social media to see this, where “selfies” are a thing and people who like or follow us are actually counted and displayed for all to see (and envy). This ability to be recognized and receive glory simply from people “liking” or “following” us feeds the fire of comparison. As parents, I see two responses to this. First, we need to remind our kids that we love them and that God loves them, and second, we need to instill in them a sense of worth that is grounded in God and not their social status. This is easier said than done and requires continued reminders of both who we truly are as sinners and our unchangeable standing as children of God.
Violence, sex, pornography, vulgar language and coarse joking have become the norm for much of America. The ability to view, record and share this type of media on demand has also led to an acceptance of many things that were considered taboo when I was a kid. While there have recently been steps in the right direction, trying to call out those who participate, it is often the same media who calls these people out in one article who then celebrate the same behavior in praising a movie or song that is full of it in the next. Instead, we must teach our kids that there is a standard that has been set and it is not the media or even their peers whom they must follow but it is God.
For me, this is one of the biggest changes from my childhood to my kids. Instant gratification is now expected. We don’t have to wait for the nightly news or the next episode of our favorite show. If we have questioned the answer is just a google search away, and when we don’t get a reply to our text message within a few minutes we start to get worried. What a contrast to my childhood. In the 90's if you wanted to watch a movie you had to get your parents to take you to blockbuster, look through the movies, rent one and then go home and sit down together and watch it. If you followed a TV show, you had to wait for it to come on each week and sit down together so you wouldn't miss it. It's a different story today, any time you feel bored you can watch a show or movie right on your phone. With the technology we have today family times are becoming things of the past and disappear altogether without careful planning. Instead, “binge-watching” is the norm and if you’re not careful your kids will watch 10 episodes in a row of 'Princess Sofia" because of "automatic playing". As a parent I love some aspects of this culture, being able to easily find the answers to questions I have is great, and it is very convenient to sit down and watch a show when I have the time. But when we rely on technology for constant entertainment, stimulation and instant feedback for our every whim, our kids quickly latch onto that mindset and their ties to it will be even harder to break than our own because it is all they have ever known.
Being an introvert, I am not a very social person. But even I can see the HUGE difference technology has made on my generation and more so on the ones following. Social interaction is a necessary skill and while I am no expert simple observations show that many of the kids who grew up just a generation or two after me are often socially awkward and unable to communicate clearly through writing or speaking. I think this is in large part due to the current texting/instant message culture. When I was a kid you had two options for getting in touch with someone, physically meeting them somewhere or calling them on the phone to chat. Even we texting first came out it was harder (remember T9) making phone calls quicker and more convenient. This is not the case anymore. A large percentage of "interaction" is done using shorthand texts and emoji's and talking on the phone is often avoided. As parents in this culture, we must be aware of the ever-changing expectations put on our kids from their friends and the immense peer pressure that can come from any device we decide to give them. Be it a phone or tablet or iPod, anything that can load apps and can access the internet should be monitored and discussions should be had regularly with children regarding clear expectations and accountability when it comes to interactions without mom or dad there.
This is kind of an amalgamation of many of these points. When I was a kid we had real, physical toys: bikes, camping gear, basketballs, and Legos. While all of these things still exist and kids play with them, the culture around them has created new expectations and desires. Everything has an app now, and more and more items are not just “toys” but are instead “devices” with specific aims to engage our kids time and ultimately our money. From camera drones that help us take better selfies to fitness trackers that help us lose weight, it all revolves around me. As parents, we directly control what is and is not in our homes and it should be our goal to limit self-focused devices as much as possible, even at the expense of “simplifying life” or “saving time”.
This is a tricky thing to define because in many ways technology has made honing and focusing our imagination easier than ever before. But with that abundance comes even more consumption. For every new hit App or game or creative video, there are many, many more people who will simply consume it. Technology has made content so abundant and easy to consume that we don’t have to use our imagination at all, its spoon fed to us at every turn. There is nothing wrong with enjoying these things, but in excess, we end up wasting a majority of our day playing a game or watching random videos. In the end, the large majority of this activity is a waste of time. When I was a kid this was not the case, we created worlds in our backyard purely from our imagination. A big part of this was my parents. They didn’t get us the latest video game console or cable TV channels. I think this is the easiest way to have a big impact on our kids’ lives. As strange as it sounds, limiting access to media is crucial to encourage an active imagination in our kids. There are so many other options that are better for our kids to engage in. Coloring, drawing, reading, writing. Technology can certainly augment these things, but it shouldn’t be the sole engagement our kids have. I think reading is huge for this. With reading, you are given the story, but the context, the character’s personality, and looks and the intrigue are all fueled by our imagination. My daughter loves to read and it’s my goal to encourage her in that and set a good example for her to follow as well.
The very nature of sports is the competition and I think that competition is important. Winning and losing are necessary experiences for kids to have because they can teach so much about real life. Many of my favorite childhood memories are from sporting events in high school and middle school, teams that I have played on and coaches that I have had. But our culture has taken this to the extreme, turning kids sports into a production line designed to win at all costs. Private coaches (even for video games), year-round leagues, special camps all across the country all with one goal, make your child a winner. I will say that many of these leagues do emphasize character and want to help your kids learn dignity, but no matter how much they preach it if we as parents don’t emphasize the right reasons for playing sports, our kids will think that winning is all that matters. And that is not a lesson I want my kids to take with them into life.
It doesn’t matter how many “friends” we have on Facebook, without real-life friends we are isolated. It’s one thing to communicate over email or messenger, but it is quite another to sit down and talk with someone face to face. Number 6 talked about the awkwardness of the current generation when it comes to social interactions. This takes that a step further because the culture of texting is a cycle that leads to more seclusion. The interesting thing is that it doesn’t even matter if you are part of a group when all you do is stare at your phone the whole time. The current epidemic of depression can largely be attributed to technology and this point. Too many people claim to have friends but don’t really have anyone who will listen to them and help them work through problems. The comparison game we all play on social media only enhances this isolation, causing us to get down on ourselves when we don’t measure up. Instead, we have to encourage our kids to talk, give them opportunities to open up and make space in our lives to sit down with them and understand what they are going through.
Family texts, group calendars, wifi passwords, and Netflix accounts are all things we didn't have to worry about when I was a kid. We only got a few TV channels and the worst thing on TV paled in comparison to what a kid can "accidentally" stumble upon on Netflix, even in the kid section. so if there was nothing on we went and did something else. “Screen time” has become a reward in many homes, and rightly so. Rewards are something that is not normal or expected. I think this is the right way to introduce our kids to technology. They get to use the tablet or phone but it is not in excess and is balanced well with outdoor time, reading and playing sports. As parents, it may be easier to do a lot of things, but the job of raising our kids to love Jesus, understand the world and be good communicators has only gotten harder. Only through prayer, vigilance and a strong community can we hope to raise kids with a clear purpose and a happy outlook on life.
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