A disclaimer is required at the beginning of this blog because of how I would judge an article with this title. My gut reaction would probably be something like this: (In a very sarcastic voice)
“Oh look, here’s a guy who had a “bad” day playing golf and now he thinks he can tell me how I should pray when I have problems that actually matter in my life!?”
I am not going to argue that I had a life or death struggle with golf and prayed and God made it all better. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Instead, I realized how much insignificant things can affect us when it comes to finding joy in life. So please, read on, you may find that you also have things you overreact to that don’t really matter. If you still disagree at the end, I would be happy to hear your comments.
I have enjoyed sports all my life. I grew up with a twin brother and we always (and still do) competed in everything. One thing I never played in school was golf, but as I have gotten older the appeal has pulled me in. It's a simple game, get the ball in the hole with as few strokes as possible, yet the competition, mechanics and mental aspect are new every swing. I also enjoy the “me against the elements” aspect of going out and trying to play my best every round.
Like most golfers, each time I play I feel like I should have the best round of my life. I have tried many different techniques to achieve this goal. At one point I even tried to pray a quick prayer before every single shot!
Needless to say, that is a lot harder than I thought and wasn't even close to happening or helping. This desire to play well has, on a number of occasions, ruined the rest of my day after I played poorly. During the drive home after a particularly poor round, I was reflecting on this. At that time, I was also reading a book titled "Prayer" by Timothy Keller. As I thought about prayer and how we can let seemingly unimportant things affect our mood, I had two realizations that are relevant to every Christian.
Realization number 1
Many of my prayers could be better described as worrying in the general direction of God, hoping that He will just fix my problems. These prayers easily slip into the realm of treating God as my personal genie instead of coming from a genuine faith that he will help me. It’s not wrong to bring all our requests to God, indeed we are told to pray about everything, but to expect God to simply fix us without working on our own attitudes is a gross neglect of the promises he gives and the powerful resource God has already given us.
You may ask:
He has given us a mind to process our situation in light of the Bible and a body to take action to change our situation. To wallow in self-pity because “God won’t fix my problem” is to ignore everything that he has already given us to fight unbelief in our lives. Of course, there must be a balance here. We CANNOT do everything on our own, which is why we are told to cast our cares on God. But, it’s easy to get lost in the prayer part and neglect the steps that we can take using the gifts God has already given me.
Realization number 2
I realized that prayer really boils down to our desire for joy (as so much of the Christian faith does). Joy is the central motivator in our lives, we make nearly all our choices based on how much joy we will receive. This is not a new concept, in fact, the Bible teaches this over and over:
1 John 1:4 And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.
John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
John 16:24 Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.
The problem arises when we have to make decisions based on WHEN we will get joy and WHICH joy we find most attractive. Human tendency is to want something now, instead of waiting for it in the future. A new car now is much more appealing than some “savings” in the distant future.
This isn’t always the case. There are things we choose to postpone our joy for. Take college for example. Many people postpone the joy they could have from freedom right out of high school, in order to obtain a degree with which they believe they will be able to get a better job (more joy) after graduating. The Christian journey is a lot like this. We have struggles and hardships that come along, and we can choose to grumble and worry (self-pity is a substitute for joy) or we can trust that God will provide and find joy in his promises.
How does all this relate to prayer?
Many of our prayers are really asking for joy apart from God. We have a sickness, or debt, or a problem and we bring it to God, asking:
"will you please heal this or give me money for this or take this problem away?"
These prayers often have little trust in God. Instead we have a desire for pleasant circumstances to return instead of finding joy in trusting God's promises concerning our situation.
We have the first part down, the Bible does tell us to cast our cares on God (1 Peter 5:7), but we ignore the motivation behind the command from Jesus to ask in His name (John 14:14 also James 4:3). It's a very subtle change, but many things in the Christian life are the difference between desires of the heart. Answers to prayer boil down to this:
God will rarely answer prayers when the answer we want leads to joy and satisfaction coming from something other than Himself!
My minor example with golf struck home because the answer I really wanted was just a better score. The score is what would determine my level of joy. It had nothing to do with my reliance on God other than Him giving me what I wanted. Instead, I turned my thinking completely in on myself and tried to use God to give me joy in golf. This is the polar opposite of how it should be, which is for me to use golf (or any other struggle or success in life) to give me joy in God.
Golf showed me that if my joy is based on physical/emotional/spiritual circumstances, then I'm in for a roller coaster ride. I realized this, not because golf was a big struggle, instead, it was the insignificance of golf that showed me how fragile relying on emotions can be. Maybe I will play well and I can enjoy my day, often times I won't play well. The reality is, golf shouldn’t affect my overall attitude! Instead, if I can anchor my joy in the promises of God, then my perspective will no longer be tied to my storm-tossed circumstances. Instead, it is directly tied to God! With this anchor, the outcomes of all my struggles, big or small, can be seen in a new light.
This realization can be very helpful as long as we can remember that happiness is NOT joy. Instead, happiness is a superficial response to pleasant circumstances. Joy in stark contrast is a spiritual discipline. Think about these verses:
James 1:5 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds
1 Peter 4:13 Rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings
Romans 5:3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings...
The bibles teaching on joy is designed to anchor our feelings in the unfailing promises of God and his goodness. This means that it is possible to be unhappy and still have joy, it is possible to be hurting and still have joy! It is even possible to feel lost at times and still have joy! But the only way we can find joy in any of these circumstances is if we can turn from trusting and hoping in our emotions and start to trust and rely on God.
Jesus is the perfect example when it comes to joy. In Hebrews 12 we are told he endured the cross "for the joy set before him". This type of joy is the only kind of joy that will persist through hard circumstances because it is an eternal joy. We may be unhappy at times, that is how life works, but it doesn’t mean we can’t find joy in the struggle. The words of the Psalmist ring true when he says:
“Taste and see that the Lord is good!”
Once you get a taste, you will forever desire the true joy that lasts.
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